Sunday, December 25, 2011

The Best Christmas



We all have a Christmas that stands out as "the best".

Maybe it's one from your childhood. One spent at the Grandparent's house, all the relatives and all the good food. Maybe the one where you got the one thing you'd been waiting for all year long (a lifetime to a child).  Maybe the last one spent with someone who has passed on, yet lives on in memories locked in your mind.  Maybe your child's first Christmas, or the first one where they actually knew what was going on. 

For me, today is the best Christmas.
It is still quiet in the house, the only sounds are the clicking of they keys as I type and a snoring Pug.

But it's the first year that I have recognized the ability to go anywhere I want and spend the day with anyone I want using the power of remembrance, the power of my mind. 

I can return to childhood, living in the past and remembering the faces and voices of ones no longer with us. 

I can return to places in my mind that are especially powerful, with the ones who gave them such power.
I can spend my day however I choose, with whoever I choose and in whatever way I choose.

After all, it isn't about where we are that makes the day special, but rather the ones who change our lives for the better that make memories we cherish.
Time is of no consequence, distance becomes only a word.

I can choose to wish today away or I can make it my own!

It is truly a very Merry Christmas.


Saturday, December 24, 2011

Perfect Vision



I close my eyes 
To see your face
Its in my mind 
Our private place

I cover my ears 
To hear your voice
The notes so softly
Become my choice

I touch my hand
To feel the place 
My fingers touched
Against your face

The chambered hallways
Of my mind
Labyrinthian corridors
Hides our hidden time

Reaching solitudes place
Locked in warm embrace
Stealing moments
Before life...



...Takes place

Friday, December 23, 2011

Amazed by Grace



Chosen by unknown fate's knowing
Redeemed by complete destiny
Given new life 
A new day from night
A fresh new breathing we breathe

Eyes that hunger for strength searching
The smile a breathing away
Each moment's delight spent
Is Heaven's gift sent 
And Heaven is where we stay

Fingers that grasp for life reaching
Committing to memory the feel
Of lips under touch
And almost too much
Of reality becoming so real

Hearts beating stronger each second
Blood coursing love's heat through veins
Razing defense's walls
Heeding desires calls
A symphony of One plays again

What omniscient powers made decision
What knowing source made the plan
Of two hearts apart
Not a clue where to start
Now together woman and man

Sunday, December 18, 2011

A Part Not Apart



In the early morning hour
When awakening clears away
The mist of sleep inside my mind
Your image is there again

Immersed in life's tyrant demands
Enslaved by daily routine
Held captive by one thousand tasks
Your face is all I see

Time with you so fleeting
We're called away too soon
Left only wanting healing
Of the touch and feel of you

Grasping for single connection
Just one tie to what WE are
Lasting perfect perfection
Becomes the beating of my heart

No longer my own will heeding
No more my self to please
Beginning of the needing
Surrenders life to all your needs

Your blood carries my essence
Inside your veins I flow
Your heart pumps luminesence
This love's light will only grow

My breath carries your breathing
Becoming erat spiritus vitae
Reassuring my whole being 
This love's light is here to stay

More powerful than miles
Distance holds no sway
More real than time spent waiting
On one more ethereal day.

When questions come to haunt you
When doubts arise to fight
They hold NO sway nor the games they play
Because we share one heart tonight

The Son of My Friends


Roger Octavius Christian Kohrs
Born ~ 18 December 2011
 

I remember the moment
I read the news
That you were on your way
Excited words
Typed by trembling hands
And read by smiling eyes

I remember watching 
Over the following months
While they prepared 
Your world 
A safe nest for you to land
Eager for your arrival

I remember inspiration
They gave me 
Struggling against great odds
Climbing mountains together
Always holding to each other 
When each other was all they had
To hold on to

I remember small scares
You gave them
And their relief when you were ok
I'm sure you'll repeat the performance
Countless times and they'll
Fuss and hug you and behind your back
be thanking God that you're just fine

As you go through life
Growing in body and mind
Becoming a boy 
And one day a man
Always look to them for guidance
Always trust what they already know

They accept the adventure
Of loving and nurturing you
With joy and gratefulness
Considering it a blessing
And thankful to have been
Chosen for the task

They both understand 
The word Loyalty 
And everything that it requires
They both know the cost
Of being a friend
And each pay it without reservation

I know this to be be true
Because they've shown it to me
And countless others 
Who'll knowingly smile
When they remember the times
They too were counted as a friend

So welcome to this amazing world
Let it be filled with watching them 
And learning how to be a man
Always know that because of them
You have inherited a whole world
Of friends you don't even know









Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Night I Said the Words



I remember you looking down
When I said, "I Love You"
Then I lifted your chin to explain.

That you owed
Nothing in return
No demands or favors attached.

Then it happened 
Your eyes lifted to meet mine
And I saw a hungered searching inside.

All the laughter shared
All the unsaid words understood
Built the breath that carried the words.

While romances fade and frivolity dies
When the road we've shared stands the test of time
We can look back to the night...

                                  ....The night I said the words.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Moonlight's Might



The arduous day
Begins it's decay
Light fades into 
A rosy warmth
Belying the evening chill

The sky empties it's light
Diurnal life fades from sight
New perspective takes on form
Life of night time
And darkness is born

Emptiness of spirit
Hollow spaces grow
Solitude attempting to steal 
Away inside my soul

Then as soon as it fades
In it's place become new light
Reflection of Sol
Now makes me whole
As we share the glow of night

An upward gaze compels
Transfixed by a common sight
Separated by distant space
But bound together 
By Moonlight's Might

Voices scream inside your head
Telling your dreams are all but dead
Lies they speak and Havoc they wreak
Attempt to destroy but they're too weak
And driven back by Moonlight's Might

Intimate secrets shared
Days filled with common sight
Of two souls brought together
An adventure shared this glowing night
A bond bound by Moonlight's Might


While You Were Sleeping




While you were sleeping
I knelt in the floor
Next to you and watched
The rhythm of your breathing

While you were dreaming
I floated in the air
Above you and listened to
The sound of your feeling

While you were resting
I Leaned over your ear
And whispered the words
Of wanting and needing

While you were lying
Warm, soft and inviting
I stole a kiss and gave embrace
And shared love's guarded leanings

Now you're awake
And I remain on your mind
Be sure to take 
For contentedness' sake
My presence in your Heart

Carry me inside you
Through your life's day
Take me inside you
In each conceived way

I am there inside you
Wherever you go
I am there inside you
Until you welcome me no more.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

HOPE's embrace



Storms inside my mind
The same old demons 
That are faced each time
Clawing at the walls
Built to keep them at bay

Terrors grip my heart
Nightmare thoughts and 
Fears of what's returned
Ripping at the gates
Locked against their assault

Looking inside I see
The darkness enveloping 
Psyche begins to crumble
Bit by bit, Stone by Stone.
Into the cluttered sum of it's parts

Then...
The warm hand's touch!
Fingers soft as air
Beauty's face approaches
And the breath is on my lips

The perfume of warm skin
Eyes so deep, they see my essence
Whispered words louder than screams
HOPE takes me by the soul 
And all is right again.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Wishing Time Away



One summer night in the country
On the front porch steps 
Of the farmhouse 
At the end of the dirt road
Sits a boy 
Staring at the night sky.

His youthful eyes
Vision sharp as an eagle
Select a single star 
Not the biggest
Not the brightest
But is speaks to him 
Louder than the rest.

He closes those same eyes
And silently makes a wish
Not for wealth or toys
Not for things that pass away
He wishes instead 
That someone special
Would be his special friend.

Thirty years later
And half a lifetime spent
That same wish remains
Unanswered but still his
HOPE remains

Then out of nowhere
Just as he has resigned 
Himself to keeping 
All the things the others
Laughed at hidden inside
His wish is granted.

One winter night in the city
On the front porch steps
Of the split foyer
In the cul de sac
Sits a man
Staring at the night sky.

His eyes strain to see
That same single star
Not the biggest
Not the brightest
But it still speaks just as loudly.

He closes those same eyes 
And silently says "Thanks"
For the gift that is most precious
And is there to stay 
He thanks his lucky star 
For the gift of his special friend.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Grace of Hope

 
 
You know the inner heart of me.
My strength and weakness, wants and needs.

Reading my thoughts before I give indication.
Numbing my pain with beauty's elation.
 
I savor each syllable of every novella's tenderness.
Imagined voice still compelling beckons, none the less.

To exist in your space and dwell in your grace. 
To breathe your breath and look upon your face. 
 
Yearning of warmth in a cold empty night. 
Seeking of You in a life without life.
 
 

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Old Soul



Giving heed to age and ideas that last 
And not hearing the latest craze.
Inspired by substance of distant past
And not things birthed in recent days.

Finding substance in what brings joy and tears
Dismissing emptiness of youth.
Wisdom to look beyond lived life and years
Knowing that's where exists the truth.

Respecting Icons, Heroes, Love and Hell
Wishing all others would do the same.
Instead of living empty inside a hollow shell 

With thoughts that life is just a game.

Deferring to things and heroes proven true 

Refusal to playing the latest role. 
Not a care of what they might think of you
That's why I love your rare "Old Soul".



Friday, December 2, 2011

Staying Grounded



I have a pair of old worn out Crocs that I wear everyday.

They are slick on the bottom, the straps are long gone and the color used to be blue, but has attained a more "earthy" hue.

I wear them to the gym, to work, in the shower after work (which means they are the cleanest pair of shoes on the planet, lol) and back home again.

They've been on my feet doing yardwork, on stage, out to eat, in church, under cars, in the attic, on runs, you name it.

My wife and kids hate them, they are embarrassed by "those ugly things".

I am blessed to be able to own more than one pair of shoes. Some of them are rather pricey and I'm thankful for them, but they all fail to do one thing:

They don't keep me grounded.

My old beat up Crocs do that and do it well. I mean I get it, I see the looks others give when they notice them as if to say "Dear Lord, who's this wino?". But you know what? I dont mind - wearing them is an exercise in humility and remembrance to me.

*Remembrance of a humble childhood when sometimes my shoes were too small, of wishing I had what the other kids got to wear.

*Remembrance that in spite of my blessings now, I have the treasure of knowing that they do not make me any better in any way. 

*Remembrance that regardless what is on my feet, it does not dictate which direction I will go or at what speed

 *Remembrance that I can perform any task that more expensive shoes might do more efficiently, as long as I am willing to adapt my approach, execution and follow-through. They remind me that everything I need is inside myself.

How do you stay grounded? Find something that keeps you true to yourself without fluff and "wear" it openly with the gratitude that it deserves.

Now where are my shoes?

Time to get grounded.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Peregrinus Domus

 

Steps are heavy in the deep dark wood
Hands feeling the way, searching for good
Two swirling pools of emerald, frozen midstride
All other visions take notice and begin to subside
Taken by adoration's first sight 
Removing darkness' veil, bringing life's fresh light
Gaze into the depths, seeing reflection of hope
Entering warmth of embrace, in an instant becomes Home.

 

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Ingracious Gratitude



This past month I've seen a lot of posts on the internet about being thankful.

This is appropriate and expected since tomorrow is Thanksgiving and it's refreshing to see so many of my friends and acquaintances expressing their gratitude for the things they have been blessed with and hold dear.

It's also very revealing.

Not about others and the stuff they post and post about.

About me.

I know of one person in particular who faces a daily struggle just to have some semblance of normalcy in their life. Health issues dominate their life choices and the uncertainty of what specifically and how severe their struggle will affect their day must be a dreadful prison at times.

This person chooses to LIVE. They choose to FIGHT. Some days they achieve victory, other days they must experience what feels like defeat. Regardless of the outcome, the next day comes and they FIGHT again.

Today, someone reminded me of how "lucky" I am. They are 100% right. I am still on this planet due to either Divine Providence or sheer luck, depending on the perspective of the observer.

Either way, I should be thankful that inspite of a multitude of bad choices and the consequences they bring, I have so much to be thankful for instead of biting the hand that feeds me.

Time to say "Thank You".

Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Missing Part of Me



The warmly lit room filled with laughter
Conversations color the air
Hand shakes and hugs exchanged
An empty smile hides my despair

The pitch black sky suspends the moon
Cool air kisses the smiling face
Of lovers holding lovers
And I hold the empty embrace

Sun breaks through the open window
Tender warmth creating new
Life to new day's sharing
But all I want is wanting you

Eyes close to seal the door
Between reality and light
It's here you're real, your hand I feel
And everything is Right.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

My "Love You"




My "Love You"
Adam Bogle
2011 TRP Music Inc. 
(All Rights Reserved)


A thousand miles keep me at bay
Miles made of hectic days
Thinking of you is all I do
And all you're going through

You feel like you've lost your home
but please dont feel alone
Listen for my "Love You"

A thousand screaming voices
Calling out your name
A thousand streaming choices
Some things never change

Your strength is gone away
but please know I'm here to stay
Listen for my "Love You"

Others take all you will give
Drain your life - no chance to live
Let my song be your source
Let my words set your course

Look beyond the despair
Reach beyond the unfair
Feel the home that's just inside
And the strength that never dies
And there listen for my...

..."Love You"

Friday, November 11, 2011

I Rest in You


I Rest In You


Eyes open in a blackened room
The night still in it's adolescence
Mind racing to the day's events
Times past and the coming present

Then the thoughts cease moving
My mind frozen in place
By the image of it's choosing
The image of your face

The clanging auditory assault
Begins it's attack on serenity's shores
Then cacophony falls silent to the faint symphony
Of the sound of your life's breathing

The cold air has carries no scent
Olfactory nodes left reaching
Then, just a hint - the faint taste of your scent
Leaves me longing for your teaching

The portrait of your face returns my gaze
Dark eyes whispering my name
Inviting Delighting Inciting Igniting
And suddenly this is not a game

Eyes closed in a blackened room
The dawn's light will be here soon
Sleep escapes me once again
But I have my Rest in You

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Move along, I gotta get to church...

"Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector." ~Luke 18.10
" The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." ~Gal. 5.14




Let's take a trip.

Don't worry, it won't take very long to arrive at our destination as it's only across town.  On second thought - maybe it's actually a universe away from where you live...

  The insolent clanging of the wind-up alarm clock in the darkened room stirs all 3 figures lying on the mattress placed in the middle of the floor.  Tonya, a single mother of 2 small children, struggles to get up without waking either one of the angels still breathing heavily on either side of her.  5.30 comes early after working a double shift at her first job down at the bar yesterday, but Saturday night is their busiest night and as such brings the biggest tips.  
  But today is Sunday! Tonya knows that once she finishes up her shift at her 2nd job at the local buffet at around 4 this afternoon, she'll get to spend the evening with her two babies and that makes it a bit easier to haul her stiff joints into the bathroom to wash up and get ready for work. 
  10 minutes later, she rouses the little ones and brings them each a small bowl of dry cereal and a glass of water (no electricity means no milk - but they don't complain - they are glad to get breakfast today).
Once they've eaten, Tonya gathers them up and goes downstairs to the sitters apt. to drop them off for the day.  After 10 minutes of knocking with no response, she's at a loss. She can't miss work, they'll be on the street if she's late with the rent again.  Looks like they'll be joining her at work again today, they know to be quiet and except for Sophia's cough they usually are.
  The morning is fairly slow, not much in the way of tips - but at least she can tend to the children from time to time and the other waitresses see that they get a cookie here and some juice there.  The boss says this is the last time they can come to work with her - it's nothing personal he says, but the owner has been showing up lately and he can't risk it.
  Finally lunch time and the weekly church crowd! Now maybe she can make some decent money...
The workload doubles, then triples as both the number of customers and their demands grow exponentially.  She's going as hard as she can, but it's never fast enough to suit the "suits".  It's "this tea's not sweet enough" and "we've been waiting for 10 minutes" and "honey, we need some more bread". They laugh, eat, fuss at the kids for getting food on their new church clothes, make a mess...

....and leave a dollar.

Table after table, hour after hour - they come and go.
Same story.
No one bothers to ask her if she's ok.
No one even thinks she may need something or someone to listen for a few minutes.


After all, they've got to get back to church tonight.


Dramatic? yes.  Poorly written? yes.  Far-fetched? not in the least.

I'm not casting judgement, God knows I can be self-centered, not seeing the needs of the less-fortunate - but that's no excuse to continue for me or anyone else. 


"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." ~Luke 12.48

Time to open our eyes and see the hurt.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Enough already...

Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment. --Mark Twain

What good does it do for people to win the whole world yet lose their lives? ~Mark 8.36
 
 Recently, one of my co-workers told me of trading his paid off truck in on one that he was going to be making 6 years worth of payments on.  I noticed two things: 

1. I wasn't jealous (really)
2. I felt sorry for him


Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate new cars as much as the next guy and would love to have something with nicer than what I have sometimes - but it's a lot easier to deal with when I ask myself this question: "Once the "new" has worn off, will I still be paying for this?"

Greed.


I've been a slave to it in the past. The excitement of feeding the demon with new "stuff" - things that I could brag about and show off to all my "friends" (who were never as taken with my recent acquisition or me as I thought they should be).  


Stuff, Toys, Things, Stuff...


Never enough.  Never as thrilling as the purchase itself or the hours spent online researching - justifying myself as a "smart shopper".  Never satisfied, always convincing myself that there's always room for more...


I'm sure my pontification about all my toys wore some to the bone - but they never uttered it.  

It's nice to grow up a bit and find contentment in my family and things that cant be seen yet are as tangible as a brick wall - peace, love and a decent night's rest.

I'm thankful for what I have and am becoming thankful for the blessing of not having most of what I used to think I wanted.

Time to be FREE.



Monday, May 16, 2011

My Name is Life



My Name is Life
Adam Bogle
2011 TRP Music, Inc. (All Rights Reserved)


V1
Does the tree in an empty forest
Fall to the ground silently?

Are the tears you cry 
And the pain inside
Not really there cause no one sees?

VII
Can the emptiness be filled with something
When there's nothing else in sight?

Will there ever be a new day dawning
When all you ever live is night?

CI
There's got to be
Just reach for me
My name is Life

VIII
Is there an ending to the story
When you cant even read the words?

Is there a song you could be singing 
When the music can't be heard?

VIV
Is there a way across the tracks
Behind this never-ending train?

Or the promise of a rainbow
When all it ever does is rain?

CII
Oh yes it's true
I reach for you 
My name is Life

B
My name is Light 
When there's darkness all around you
My name is Peace
When all you're living is a war
My name is Strength 
When the road is long and you can't go on...

...And when all your living is done 


My name is Life

Friday, May 13, 2011

"Spoiled Rotten" or "Too Good To Be True"


 "Even though you're evil, you know how to give good gifts to your children. So how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him?" ~Matt 7.11 GWT

I just picked Westyn up from school - he's in the 7th grade.  This is something that I try to do every chance I get, which is not very often.  One thing I noticed while I watched the middle-schoolers getting into their parent's cars was the common look of disdain at having to interact with them.  The body-language which said, "you're lucky I don't dis-own you as my mom/dad."  Typical adolescent behavior I suppose -  but I can't help but wonder, is it bred or learned?  When Westyn got into the car with the same attitude, I had to ask myself: "are we (parents) to blame?"

Nothing bothers me more than to think my kids are going without something they need.  The idea of them going to bed hungry is banned from my options for bed-time as Traci can attest.  They've milked it more than once just to stay up a few minutes longer than usual.  I work lots of hours to see that their needs are met and that most of what they want is only a "badgering Dad" away. 

Who could blame them for learning how to manipulate the old man into getting what they surely must deserve? Sheesh, I must be an easy mark....

Wait, hold on a minute.  

Now that I think about it, how many of us behave the same way toward God most of the time?  We short-change Him in time and ability and He keeps loving and providing for us without reservation. 

Only difference?

He's Not At Fault.

I'm thinking maybe it's time we got out of middle-school.

It's time to grow up.

Thank you God for Loving Us, I know I dont deserve it...