A Father's Son

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son..." -John 3.16

The lights are off in the house, the faint glow of a lamp in the adjacent room guiding me down the hall. I almost pass your bedroom and stop. A hand involuntarily reaches inside the doorway and flips the switch. The familiar scene of your bed with it's random clothing strewn across the covers is there. Four steps inside and I stop to read the pages of your Bible open to the last place you read. A touch of your pillow and a quiet prayer of protection as a tear falls. You're perfectly fine and despite the knowing, my heart grieves with intense passion. As the prayer continues, the Comforter begins His work anew - reminding me of those parents who don't have the luxury of ever hearing their child's voice again in this world and that my pain is nothing compared to what they must feel.

Then He whispers in my ear something I've not yet considered. The story of how a Father once gave up His Son for us. For the first time, I see what I've heard my whole life now through the eyes of the Father as He bankrupted heaven and let go of the One most precious to Him. What Love! 

Thank you Son for the lesson in love. I love you Westyn.

Thank you Father for an incomprehensible, invincible AGAPE love! 

Just Out of Reach

"For the wages of sin is death..." ~Rom 6.23

Once trust is broken
Can it ever be the same

Or is the remainder a life that's broken
An existence filled with pain

Choosing to live with questions
And fearing the answers they own

Reaching back to consolation
But useless weeds are all that's grown

Torn between the distant calm
And lost hope's empty shell

Living the knowlege of Heaven
And the reality of Hell

ALONE

c.a.b. 2012

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

Sitting alone

All alone in the night

The sound of my breathing

Is my ears only sight

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

Thinking becomes longing

As the hours slip by

Remembering my failures

And the tears that you cried

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

Emptiness and despair

Now sit on the throne

Where arrogance and pride

Used to make it their own

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

No rest in my mind

No place I can hide

From courtship of pain

The embracing of night

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

Where once stood a man

Now there's only a shell

Distant memory of Heaven

And reality of Hell

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

I've chosen this path

No one else is to blame

Now I stand where it led 

At the door of my shame

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

 

The Lesson of the Oak

 The Lesson of the Oak

The oak towers above the forest

It's fellow arboretum members

Gaze upward at it's height

It's branches supported

By a many-ringed trunk

Bark scarred by years gone-by

It's broad leaves shimmer 

In the gentlest breeze

And hide the noonday sun

Children play in it's shade

A carved heart and initials

The memorial to long lost love

For 150 years it's watched

The change of time

In the earth and it's animates

Day's sunlight and night's storms

Summer's green and winter's white

All feed the cycle of it's ageless life

In spite of it's stature

And immortal defiance

Of lifetimes and time

The source of it's strength

Hidden from human eyes

Reaching deep into nourishing soil

Patiently bursting stones with

It's ever deeper growing

Depths equal to the highest branches

Dwelling in the cool dark earth

Fed by earthworms and decay

Drinking in the purest rain

It stands proud, tall and true

Regardless of the scarring

Of branches severed by life's winds

It stands upward reaching

Undeterred by time or pain

A monument of determination to life

The source of it's strength 

Is not in it's size or beauty

Or any of the things apparent to us

The source of it's strength 

Is under our feet and unseen

By our simple eyes

The source of it's strength

Is it's unwavering, ever-growing 

Clenched fist on it's foundation

"When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”  “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” ~Jn. 8:9-11 (NLT)

Your PAST.

The voices who want to remind you of it are everywhere you around you and inside your head.  They use it to hold you back, to tell you that you are defined by what they want you to remember. They want you to be crippled by shortcomings and moments of weakness. They want you to never forget what you did to hurt yourself and others. After all, how can you muster the audacity to hold your head up when YOU did "all those things"? 

They must be something special to have put up with you all this time....

It's time to let go of your past. Time to stop using it as an excuse for why you CAN'T. Time to start LIVING.

It's time to "GO"...

Kindred Spirits

Memories and Wondering

For far too long a time

All your substance yielded

Was the subsistence 

For my mind

Two separate lives living

Across finite time and space

Reading past treasured words

Scribed blue ink giving chase

To memories and dreams

Of summer night's 

Innocence of things

That bring smiles to light

Now words born in the mind

Coming fast with the speed of light

Carrying time and distance

Guarded reservation's resistance

Destroyed by kinship of sight

They fall on eyes and land in thought

And heart leaps with memories

That run uncaught

At the sound of an unheard voice

And it's familiar refrain

Hundreds of miles

A lifetime of years

A thousand faded smiles

A million drying tears

Could not, have not

Untied the bonds that 

Hold the most Kindred of Spirits

Evolving

0230

And sleep wont come.

Thoughts physically forced from conciousness

Return one time more than the strength needed to 

Remove them and they stand inside the mind

Defiantly smiling their crooked grins.

Questions 

About things only the weak would ponder

Motives of actions and the headings of chosen course.

Given glimpses of hidden happenings

Shared snippets of a parallel world

And the mind completes the portrait

The hidden scene comes into view.

Weakness 

Comes on the heels of total immersion

The embrace of heart and mind

The body opens the door of fragility

And the soul runs headlong inside.

Neitzche was an angry, empty soul

But his view of the abyss becomes truth.

Strength 

Remains where it's always been

Never moving from it's Gibraltic stature

Standing at arm's length

It's location and it's lesson.

To give the freedom to watch and learn

By giving the freedom to others to live

And watching the lessons they teach.

Growth

Always announcing itself through pain

Like the bones of the young ones

At night when it's time to sleep.

Does expectation of evolution forget

So quickly that NOW is when the idioms 

Ring so true and words shouted in strength

Fall on weakness' deaf ears retain their meaning?

Evolving

Stimulus and response dictates change.

Outside eyes will not see the end from the now

Their mouths and hands will attempt to dictate

To mold this pliable thing that is you 

Ten million puppeteers ten million times a day

In ten million ways to control 

When they cant even control themselves.

Vicarious living at it's best.

Giving Growth the room it needs

To do it's work of change

Requires the blind acceptance of

Creation and remembrance that Creation comes from WITHIN.

Destiny

ALONE brings change and not other's ideas

Inside is where the work, pain, struggle and motivation

To continue breathing reside.

The throne of the mind is NEVER taken, ONLY given.

Allow only strength to rule there

Do not attempt to control others

Evolve?

Yes. 

But evolve into YOU

 

"None Shall Pass!"

I work in an environment filled with poison.  The very air in certain areas is filled with harmful particles and most surfaces require a washing of the hands after they are touched.

I have learned to keep the contaminants of my environment out of my body. It takes consistent effort and attention to detail, but it is not impossible. 

The mind is the same way.

Do you allow things that are detrimental to your productivity and improvement inside your mind? 

Do they fester inside, eating at your will to succeed and improve?

Be the gatekeeper of your mind, safeguard your thoughts and digest only the things that are conducive to growth and excellence.

Negativity can be all over you, but that doesn't mean it any of it has to be inside.

Time to lock the GATE.

Take a Look

Take A Look

Adam Bogle 2012

You won't come around and its all my fault

You wont speak a word, but it's me that wont talk

Your message in a bottle brings your absolution

To call it one sided hate is your resolution.

Outsiders get to know more than I do

The eggshells you walk on were placed there by you

Despising my honesty resenting my truth

Never stopping to think I might be reaching for you

Each day I face my past, my demons, my hell

I live with the stories they continue to tell

That is my price, my penalty, my debt

To live each day with the cost of regret.

This road is quiet except for the screams

Of how I'm nothing and nothing is me

But I choose not to hear them and choose to be free

I'm becoming the man I was created to be.

The Work that I do is transforming I find

My Work gets done and does its Work in my mind

It tells me there's more to me than the limits you see

It grants freedom from the past and what I USED to be.

So I continue on, to do my work all alone

No mask to hide the man that's now gone

No lies to myself of what used to be

No acceptance of the limits you choose for me.

Evolving my soul into destiny's role

Chosen to be greater than your rejection holds

My mind set like a stone planted firmly it grows

Against all resistance it continues to flow.

So when your thoughts move to me and the images you see

Of the shell of a man that I used to be

Hold onto the thought that I'm somehow caught

Or open new eyes to see a free man that is me.

Lovin' You Down

 

Lovin' You Down

  Adam Bogle

2011 TRP Music Group

(All Rights Reserved)

I

Well I'm prisoner at work

And I'm a slave to the grind

But I can't do a thing 

Without you on my mind

Every moment of my day

Spent thinking of you

And the love that we make

Is what gets me through

C

Oh baby, how I'd love to be lovin' you down

To hear your eyes say how you love me 

When your lips don't make a sound

To spend the whole night baby

In the love that we've found

Oh how I'd love to be lovin'

Lovin' you down

II

Time away is living torture

Seconds seem to me like days

The aching for your arms to hold me

Your tender kiss is what I taste

The need to feel your love surround me

To enter through love's open door

It's with your hand you'll gently guide me

Always hungering for more

C

Oh baby, how I'd love to be lovin' you down

To hear your eyes say how you love me 

When your lips don't make a sound

To spend the whole night baby

In the love that we've found

Oh how I'd love to be lovin'

Lovin' you down

B

And we'll fall together softly

Not worried where we might land

Let tomorrow have tomorrow

Cause tonight I'll hold your hand

These Hands

These hands know you

They have memorized every contour of your body

The textures of your clothes and the silkiness of what lies beneath

  They communicate between us

Telling you of my loving desire

And hearing your message of eager acceptance in return

Through your movements underneath their touch

They hold memories of times we've shared

Wiping tears from your eyes 

Moving the hair from your face

  They have been beaten beyond their years through hard work

 But manage to make beautiful music when the heart commands

  And their greatest symphony is You

The Company of Thoughts

Eyes open before the dawn

Lying in the darkened room

My breath is the day's first sound 

And my first thought is the thought of you.

Words glowing in my mind's eye

No audible notes fall on my ear

Not necessary to reinforce their strength

Your voice is the sound I hear.

Morning's anticipation dispels daily routine

Awaiting heart's contact through space

Closure of the eyes brings sights more real

The sight of my hand on your face.

Day's end arrives and eagerness drives

My whole being back to the space

It's there once again I'm there with my friend

We're at home in this limitless space.

Eyes overwhelmed with such beauty

Surprised you're real yet again

Torn between rushing to hold you 

And thirsting to drink it all in.

Eyes open before the dawn

Lying in a darkened room

My breath is the day's last sound 

And my last thought is the thought of you.

The Best Christmas

We all have a Christmas that stands out as "the best".

Maybe it's one from your childhood. One spent at the Grandparent's house, all the relatives and all the good food. Maybe the one where you got the one thing you'd been waiting for all year long (a lifetime to a child).  Maybe the last one spent with someone who has passed on, yet lives on in memories locked in your mind.  Maybe your child's first Christmas, or the first one where they actually knew what was going on. 

For me, today is the best Christmas.

It is still quiet in the house, the only sounds are the clicking of they keys as I type and a snoring Pug.

But it's the first year that I have recognized the ability to go anywhere I want and spend the day with anyone I want using the power of remembrance, the power of my mind. 

I can return to childhood, living in the past and remembering the faces and voices of ones no longer with us. 

I can return to places in my mind that are especially powerful, with the ones who gave them such power.

I can spend my day however I choose, with whoever I choose and in whatever way I choose.

After all, it isn't about where we are that makes the day special, but rather the ones who change our lives for the better that make memories we cherish.

Time is of no consequence, distance becomes only a word.

I can choose to wish today away or I can make it my own!

It is truly a very Merry Christmas.

Perfect Vision

I close my eyes 

To see your face

Its in my mind 

Our private place

I cover my ears 

To hear your voice

The notes so softly

Become my choice

I touch my hand

To feel the place 

My fingers touched

Against your face

The chambered hallways

Of my mind

Labyrinthian corridors

Hides our hidden time

Reaching solitudes place

Locked in warm embrace

Stealing moments

Before life...

...Takes place

Amazed by Grace

Chosen by unknown fate's knowing

Redeemed by complete destiny

Given new life 

A new day from night

A fresh new breathing we breathe

Eyes that hunger for strength searching

The smile a breathing away

Each moment's delight spent

Is Heaven's gift sent 

And Heaven is where we stay

Fingers that grasp for life reaching

Committing to memory the feel

Of lips under touch

And almost too much

Of reality becoming so real

Hearts beating stronger each second

Blood coursing love's heat through veins

Razing defense's walls

Heeding desires calls

A symphony of One plays again

What omniscient powers made decision

What knowing source made the plan

Of two hearts apart

Not a clue where to start

Now together woman and man

A Part Not Apart

In the early morning hour

When awakening clears away

The mist of sleep inside my mind

Your image is there again

Immersed in life's tyrant demands

Enslaved by daily routine

Held captive by one thousand tasks

Your face is all I see

Time with you so fleeting

We're called away too soon

Left only wanting healing

Of the touch and feel of you

Grasping for single connection

Just one tie to what WE are

Lasting perfect perfection

Becomes the beating of my heart

No longer my own will heeding

No more my self to please

Beginning of the needing

Surrenders life to all your needs

Your blood carries my essence

Inside your veins I flow

Your heart pumps luminesence

This love's light will only grow

My breath carries your breathing

Becoming erat spiritus vitae

Reassuring my whole being 

This love's light is here to stay

More powerful than miles

Distance holds no sway

More real than time spent waiting

On one more ethereal day.

When questions come to haunt you

When doubts arise to fight

They hold NO sway nor the games they play

Because we share one heart tonight

The Son of My Friends

Roger Octavius Christian Kohrs

Born ~ 18 December 2011

 

I remember the moment

I read the news

That you were on your way

Excited words

Typed by trembling hands

And read by smiling eyes

I remember watching 

Over the following months

While they prepared 

Your world 

A safe nest for you to land

Eager for your arrival

I remember inspiration

They gave me 

Struggling against great odds

Climbing mountains together

Always holding to each other 

When each other was all they had

To hold on to

I remember small scares

You gave them

And their relief when you were ok

I'm sure you'll repeat the performance

Countless times and they'll

Fuss and hug you and behind your back

be thanking God that you're just fine

As you go through life

Growing in body and mind

Becoming a boy 

And one day a man

Always look to them for guidance

Always trust what they already know

They accept the adventure

Of loving and nurturing you

With joy and gratefulness

Considering it a blessing

And thankful to have been

Chosen for the task

They both understand 

The word Loyalty 

And everything that it requires

They both know the cost

Of being a friend

And each pay it without reservation

I know this to be be true

Because they've shown it to me

And countless others 

Who'll knowingly smile

When they remember the times

They too were counted as a friend

So welcome to this amazing world

Let it be filled with watching them 

And learning how to be a man

Always know that because of them

You have inherited a whole world

Of friends you don't even know

The Night I Said the Words

I remember you looking down

When I said, "I Love You"

Then I lifted your chin to explain.

That you owed

Nothing in return

No demands or favors attached.

Then it happened 

Your eyes lifted to meet mine

And I saw a hungered searching inside.

All the laughter shared

All the unsaid words understood

Built the breath that carried the words.

While romances fade and frivolity dies

When the road we've shared stands the test of time

We can look back to the night...

                                  ....The night I said the words.

Moonlight's Might

The arduous day

Begins it's decay

Light fades into 

A rosy warmth

Belying the evening chill

The sky empties it's light

Diurnal life fades from sight

New perspective takes on form

Life of night time

And darkness is born

Emptiness of spirit

Hollow spaces grow

Solitude attempting to steal 

Away inside my soul

Then as soon as it fades

In it's place become new light

Reflection of Sol

Now makes me whole

As we share the glow of night

An upward gaze compels

Transfixed by a common sight

Separated by distant space

But bound together 

By Moonlight's Might

Voices scream inside your head

Telling your dreams are all but dead

Lies they speak and Havoc they wreak

Attempt to destroy but they're too weak

And driven back by Moonlight's Might

Intimate secrets shared

Days filled with common sight

Of two souls brought together

An adventure shared this glowing night

A bond bound by Moonlight's Might

While You Were Sleeping

While you were sleeping
I knelt in the floor
Next to you and watched
The rhythm of your breathing

While you were dreaming
I floated in the air
Above you and listened to
The sound of your feeling

While you were resting
I Leaned over your ear
And whispered the words
Of wanting and needing

While you were lying
Warm, soft and inviting
I stole a kiss and gave embrace
And shared love's guarded leanings

Now you're awake
And I remain on your mind
Be sure to take 

For contentedness' sake

My presence in your Heart

Carry me inside you
Through your life's day
Take me inside you
In each conceived way

I am there inside you
Wherever you go
I am there inside you
Until you welcome me no more.