A Father's Son

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son..." -John 3.16

The lights are off in the house, the faint glow of a lamp in the adjacent room guiding me down the hall. I almost pass your bedroom and stop. A hand involuntarily reaches inside the doorway and flips the switch. The familiar scene of your bed with it's random clothing strewn across the covers is there. Four steps inside and I stop to read the pages of your Bible open to the last place you read. A touch of your pillow and a quiet prayer of protection as a tear falls. You're perfectly fine and despite the knowing, my heart grieves with intense passion. As the prayer continues, the Comforter begins His work anew - reminding me of those parents who don't have the luxury of ever hearing their child's voice again in this world and that my pain is nothing compared to what they must feel.

Then He whispers in my ear something I've not yet considered. The story of how a Father once gave up His Son for us. For the first time, I see what I've heard my whole life now through the eyes of the Father as He bankrupted heaven and let go of the One most precious to Him. What Love! 

Thank you Son for the lesson in love. I love you Westyn.

Thank you Father for an incomprehensible, invincible AGAPE love! 

Just Out of Reach

"For the wages of sin is death..." ~Rom 6.23

Once trust is broken
Can it ever be the same

Or is the remainder a life that's broken
An existence filled with pain

Choosing to live with questions
And fearing the answers they own

Reaching back to consolation
But useless weeds are all that's grown

Torn between the distant calm
And lost hope's empty shell

Living the knowlege of Heaven
And the reality of Hell

ALONE

c.a.b. 2012

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

Sitting alone

All alone in the night

The sound of my breathing

Is my ears only sight

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

Thinking becomes longing

As the hours slip by

Remembering my failures

And the tears that you cried

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

Emptiness and despair

Now sit on the throne

Where arrogance and pride

Used to make it their own

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

No rest in my mind

No place I can hide

From courtship of pain

The embracing of night

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

Where once stood a man

Now there's only a shell

Distant memory of Heaven

And reality of Hell

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

I've chosen this path

No one else is to blame

Now I stand where it led 

At the door of my shame

One single hair

Held by broken fingers

One thin strand 

Binding memories that linger

 

The Lesson of the Oak

 The Lesson of the Oak

The oak towers above the forest

It's fellow arboretum members

Gaze upward at it's height

It's branches supported

By a many-ringed trunk

Bark scarred by years gone-by

It's broad leaves shimmer 

In the gentlest breeze

And hide the noonday sun

Children play in it's shade

A carved heart and initials

The memorial to long lost love

For 150 years it's watched

The change of time

In the earth and it's animates

Day's sunlight and night's storms

Summer's green and winter's white

All feed the cycle of it's ageless life

In spite of it's stature

And immortal defiance

Of lifetimes and time

The source of it's strength

Hidden from human eyes

Reaching deep into nourishing soil

Patiently bursting stones with

It's ever deeper growing

Depths equal to the highest branches

Dwelling in the cool dark earth

Fed by earthworms and decay

Drinking in the purest rain

It stands proud, tall and true

Regardless of the scarring

Of branches severed by life's winds

It stands upward reaching

Undeterred by time or pain

A monument of determination to life

The source of it's strength 

Is not in it's size or beauty

Or any of the things apparent to us

The source of it's strength 

Is under our feet and unseen

By our simple eyes

The source of it's strength

Is it's unwavering, ever-growing 

Clenched fist on it's foundation

"When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”  “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” ~Jn. 8:9-11 (NLT)

Your PAST.

The voices who want to remind you of it are everywhere you around you and inside your head.  They use it to hold you back, to tell you that you are defined by what they want you to remember. They want you to be crippled by shortcomings and moments of weakness. They want you to never forget what you did to hurt yourself and others. After all, how can you muster the audacity to hold your head up when YOU did "all those things"? 

They must be something special to have put up with you all this time....

It's time to let go of your past. Time to stop using it as an excuse for why you CAN'T. Time to start LIVING.

It's time to "GO"...

Kindred Spirits

Memories and Wondering

For far too long a time

All your substance yielded

Was the subsistence 

For my mind

Two separate lives living

Across finite time and space

Reading past treasured words

Scribed blue ink giving chase

To memories and dreams

Of summer night's 

Innocence of things

That bring smiles to light

Now words born in the mind

Coming fast with the speed of light

Carrying time and distance

Guarded reservation's resistance

Destroyed by kinship of sight

They fall on eyes and land in thought

And heart leaps with memories

That run uncaught

At the sound of an unheard voice

And it's familiar refrain

Hundreds of miles

A lifetime of years

A thousand faded smiles

A million drying tears

Could not, have not

Untied the bonds that 

Hold the most Kindred of Spirits

Evolving

0230

And sleep wont come.

Thoughts physically forced from conciousness

Return one time more than the strength needed to 

Remove them and they stand inside the mind

Defiantly smiling their crooked grins.

Questions 

About things only the weak would ponder

Motives of actions and the headings of chosen course.

Given glimpses of hidden happenings

Shared snippets of a parallel world

And the mind completes the portrait

The hidden scene comes into view.

Weakness 

Comes on the heels of total immersion

The embrace of heart and mind

The body opens the door of fragility

And the soul runs headlong inside.

Neitzche was an angry, empty soul

But his view of the abyss becomes truth.

Strength 

Remains where it's always been

Never moving from it's Gibraltic stature

Standing at arm's length

It's location and it's lesson.

To give the freedom to watch and learn

By giving the freedom to others to live

And watching the lessons they teach.

Growth

Always announcing itself through pain

Like the bones of the young ones

At night when it's time to sleep.

Does expectation of evolution forget

So quickly that NOW is when the idioms 

Ring so true and words shouted in strength

Fall on weakness' deaf ears retain their meaning?

Evolving

Stimulus and response dictates change.

Outside eyes will not see the end from the now

Their mouths and hands will attempt to dictate

To mold this pliable thing that is you 

Ten million puppeteers ten million times a day

In ten million ways to control 

When they cant even control themselves.

Vicarious living at it's best.

Giving Growth the room it needs

To do it's work of change

Requires the blind acceptance of

Creation and remembrance that Creation comes from WITHIN.

Destiny

ALONE brings change and not other's ideas

Inside is where the work, pain, struggle and motivation

To continue breathing reside.

The throne of the mind is NEVER taken, ONLY given.

Allow only strength to rule there

Do not attempt to control others

Evolve?

Yes. 

But evolve into YOU