Ingracious Gratitude

This past month I've seen a lot of posts on the internet about being thankful.

This is appropriate and expected since tomorrow is Thanksgiving and it's refreshing to see so many of my friends and acquaintances expressing their gratitude for the things they have been blessed with and hold dear.

It's also very revealing.

Not about others and the stuff they post and post about.

About me.

I know of one person in particular who faces a daily struggle just to have some semblance of normalcy in their life. Health issues dominate their life choices and the uncertainty of what specifically and how severe their struggle will affect their day must be a dreadful prison at times.

This person chooses to LIVE. They choose to FIGHT. Some days they achieve victory, other days they must experience what feels like defeat. Regardless of the outcome, the next day comes and they FIGHT again.

Today, someone reminded me of how "lucky" I am. They are 100% right. I am still on this planet due to either Divine Providence or sheer luck, depending on the perspective of the observer.

Either way, I should be thankful that inspite of a multitude of bad choices and the consequences they bring, I have so much to be thankful for instead of biting the hand that feeds me.

Time to say "Thank You".

The Missing Part of Me

The warmly lit room filled with laughter
Conversations color the air
Hand shakes and hugs exchanged
An empty smile hides my despair

The pitch black sky suspends the moon
Cool air kisses the smiling face
Of lovers holding lovers
And I hold the empty embrace

Sun breaks through the open window
Tender warmth creating new
Life to new day's sharing
But all I want is wanting you

Eyes close to seal the door
Between reality and light
It's here you're real, your hand I feel
And everything is Right.

My "Love You"

My "Love You"

Adam Bogle

2011 TRP Music Inc. 

(All Rights Reserved)

A thousand miles keep me at bay
Miles made of hectic days
Thinking of you is all I do
And all you're going through

You feel like you've lost your home
but please dont feel alone
Listen for my "Love You"

A thousand screaming voices
Calling out your name
A thousand streaming choices
Some things never change

Your strength is gone away
but please know I'm here to stay
Listen for my "Love You"

Others take all you will give
Drain your life - no chance to live
Let my song be your source
Let my words set your course

Look beyond the despair
Reach beyond the unfair
Feel the home that's just inside
And the strength that never dies
And there listen for my...

..."Love You"

I Rest in You

I Rest In You

Eyes open in a blackened room

The night still in it's adolescence

Mind racing to the day's events

Times past and the coming present

Then the thoughts cease moving

My mind frozen in place

By the image of it's choosing

The image of your face

The clanging auditory assault

Begins it's attack on serenity's shores

Then cacophony falls silent to the faint symphony

Of the sound of your life's breathing

The cold air has carries no scent

Olfactory nodes left reaching

Then, just a hint - the faint taste of your scent

Leaves me longing for your teaching

The portrait of your face returns my gaze

Dark eyes whispering my name

Inviting Delighting Inciting Igniting

And suddenly this is not a game

Eyes closed in a blackened room

The dawn's light will be here soon

Sleep escapes me once again

But I have my Rest in You

Oh yes I am...

Move along, I gotta get to church...

"Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector." ~Luke 18.10
" The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." ~Gal. 5.14

Let's take a trip.

Don't worry, it won't take very long to arrive at our destination as it's only across town.  On second thought - maybe it's actually a universe away from where you live...

  The insolent clanging of the wind-up alarm clock in the darkened room stirs all 3 figures lying on the mattress placed in the middle of the floor.  Tonya, a single mother of 2 small children, struggles to get up without waking either one of the angels still breathing heavily on either side of her.  5.30 comes early after working a double shift at her first job down at the bar yesterday, but Saturday night is their busiest night and as such brings the biggest tips.  
  But today is Sunday! Tonya knows that once she finishes up her shift at her 2nd job at the local buffet at around 4 this afternoon, she'll get to spend the evening with her two babies and that makes it a bit easier to haul her stiff joints into the bathroom to wash up and get ready for work. 
  10 minutes later, she rouses the little ones and brings them each a small bowl of dry cereal and a glass of water (no electricity means no milk - but they don't complain - they are glad to get breakfast today).
Once they've eaten, Tonya gathers them up and goes downstairs to the sitters apt. to drop them off for the day.  After 10 minutes of knocking with no response, she's at a loss. She can't miss work, they'll be on the street if she's late with the rent again.  Looks like they'll be joining her at work again today, they know to be quiet and except for Sophia's cough they usually are.
  The morning is fairly slow, not much in the way of tips - but at least she can tend to the children from time to time and the other waitresses see that they get a cookie here and some juice there.  The boss says this is the last time they can come to work with her - it's nothing personal he says, but the owner has been showing up lately and he can't risk it.
  Finally lunch time and the weekly church crowd! Now maybe she can make some decent money...
The workload doubles, then triples as both the number of customers and their demands grow exponentially.  She's going as hard as she can, but it's never fast enough to suit the "suits".  It's "this tea's not sweet enough" and "we've been waiting for 10 minutes" and "honey, we need some more bread". They laugh, eat, fuss at the kids for getting food on their new church clothes, make a mess...

....and leave a dollar.

Table after table, hour after hour - they come and go.
Same story.
No one bothers to ask her if she's ok.
No one even thinks she may need something or someone to listen for a few minutes.


After all, they've got to get back to church tonight.


Dramatic? yes.  Poorly written? yes.  Far-fetched? not in the least.

I'm not casting judgement, God knows I can be self-centered, not seeing the needs of the less-fortunate - but that's no excuse to continue for me or anyone else. 


"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." ~Luke 12.48

Time to open our eyes and see the hurt.

Enough already...

Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment. --Mark Twain

What good does it do for people to win the whole world yet lose their lives? ~Mark 8.36

 
 Recently, one of my co-workers told me of trading his paid off truck in on one that he was going to be making 6 years worth of payments on.  I noticed two things: 

1. I wasn't jealous (really)
2. I felt sorry for him


Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate new cars as much as the next guy and would love to have something with nicer than what I have sometimes - but it's a lot easier to deal with when I ask myself this question: "Once the "new" has worn off, will I still be paying for this?"

Greed.


I've been a slave to it in the past. The excitement of feeding the demon with new "stuff" - things that I could brag about and show off to all my "friends" (who were never as taken with my recent acquisition or me as I thought they should be).  


Stuff, Toys, Things, Stuff...


Never enough.  Never as thrilling as the purchase itself or the hours spent online researching - justifying myself as a "smart shopper".  Never satisfied, always convincing myself that there's always room for more...


I'm sure my pontification about all my toys wore some to the bone - but they never uttered it.  

It's nice to grow up a bit and find contentment in my family and things that cant be seen yet are as tangible as a brick wall - peace, love and a decent night's rest.

I'm thankful for what I have and am becoming thankful for the blessing of not having most of what I used to think I wanted.

Time to be FREE.