A Rumbly in my Tumbly

"He has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away with empty hands." ~Luke 1.53

 "There's nothing here to eat except Pizza Rolls and diet Pepsi..." ~Westyn (age 10)

I first saw the image above a couple of years ago and from the very first time, it has never failed to speak volumes to me every time  I look at it.  I also remember searching for and reading the story behind it, as written by the photographer who took it.

He spoke of how the boy pictured was oblivious to his presence and focused only on the food, the source of another day's existence. 

The boy's hunger was the most powerful force in the world to him at that moment.

A few minutes ago, I realized that I hadn't eaten for several hours and began to fix something to eat.  While reaching up into the cabinet, a voice inside said: "Hunger is good, it makes you feel alive."

It's the first time that I have ever looked at it that way.  Throughout my life without fail, hunger has been a negative thing - something to be remedied as quickly and completely as possible.  Something which needed to be soothed and made better, like a cut finger or backache.

Hunger is good? 

Something to be Desired? Sought after? Needed? (even wanted?)

Yes - think about it.

The gnawing belly, growing stronger simply through time - the only thing which gets more powerful when not fed - overcomes the brain and yells louder and louder until something is thrown it's way.

But the gnawing belly is only doing it's job.

Without it, we'd starve.

So is there a lesson to be learned from this?

Maybe, I think so. 

I think that recognizing what I'm passionate about, crave, what defines and makes me who I am and who I am becoming is vital to satiating my real hunger.  Then to experience the taste of total immersion in those things is key to being fulfilled.

I don't know about you, but I'm starving...

....Time to eat.

The Image of You

The room is dimly lit
Illuminated only by the faint glow of the screen.
The only sounds are the white noise lullaby
And the slow, steady rhythm of your breathing.

No glasses, but I stare at you
Watching you fade into sleep
An image more imagined than real.

Memories of your beauty
Filling in the spaces left
By eyes that get weaker each year.

The perfume of your skin
Mostly hidden underneath  
A tropical bouquet
Is there nonetheless.

Stirring memories of
That same scent in
distant scenes we've shared-
I smile in contentedness.

Instinctively.
My calloused hand
Moves to take yours.

Finding it.
Without need to search
for the familiar.

Similarly -
My heart finds yours
With no effort at all.

And one day
When the room
Is bright.
And my eyes wont
See in spite of the light.

The image of You
Will belong to me.

The image of You
Does belong with me.

"Anti"-mosity and the fear of being real....

"If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back." ~Matthew 18.15 (NLT)

There seems to be an increasing use of under-handed, cutting remarks and responses on the social networks these days.  Whatever happened to good old, face to face conflict resolution?

It's been my experience that there are few things more refreshing than to "have it out" with a friend and move on to healing and growth together.  

It's also true from my perspective that dealing with a perceived injury - emotional or otherwise - through indirect, snide remarks does nothing to resolve the root cause and only serves to foster further resentment and anger. 

Has the internet with it's inherent cushions provided a "safe" way to point out how far "superior" one is or is it paving the way for the development of "Cowardly Baggage Handlers"?

If the hurt is deep enough to carry with you, it should be important enough to get rid of.

Time to "man-up" and put on the gloves.

Identitiy Crisis

"I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope." ~Jeremiah 29:11

Sometimes, it's too easy to forget who you are...

                                                                             ...it's time to remember.

The Glorious Mystery Of Grey

Awakened by the sound of the day's first breath
The room is curiously dim
Toes warmed by the weight of fleece and down
Lips kissed by the morning chill

Brewing cafe's scent tempts the nose
The steam warming frontal lobes
The feel of bitter goodness flows
Down the throat and through the veins

Flannel cap muffles the ears
But they still hear loud and clear
The wonderful sound of silence

Wet, fallen leaves under insulated feet
Give no clue of being trampled softly
Icy branches brushing the cheek
Gently say "good morning"

Amid the days of chaos and rush
Among the schedules, demanding life away
The rare gift of memories and love
Lies in the Glorious Mystery of Grey.

Here To Learn...

"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." ~Albert Einstein


"I'm convinced that God, who began this good work in you, will carry it through to completion on the day of Christ Jesus." ~Phil 1.6 (GWT)






Throughout my life, I've been exposed to many learning opportunities.  I'm ashamed to admit that I let most of them pass by without so much as a nod.  

Recently though, I've learned to slow down a bit - perhaps due to age (I've heard that it goes with the territory).  Not necessarily physically, but more-so mentally, spiritually and emotionally - you know, the internal stuff.

I've also become generally more tolerant and accepting of life and people in general.  This has been very liberating for me because I am allowing myself to experience new and diverse individuals whose personalities and points of view I would have simply dismissed as delusional in the past.  

I have made friends with some very generous and kind souls who are teaching me a the value of diversity on so many levels. For this I am so thankful.

I have also been retaught several lessons that I should have retained after having learned them so many times in the course of my life.  But guess what, we all need a refresher every now and then and that's just fine with me.

Does this mean that I have tossed my core beliefs and am embracing some new philosophy?  Not at all.  As a matter of fact, I believe God is the One making the changes in my perspective possible.  For this I am so thankful. 

I am beginning a new semester in life's university and I hope it is one of many to come.

There's the bell...

Time for class.

 

"Just WHO do you think you are!?!?!?!?!"

"Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, "Where are your accusers? Didn't even one of them condemn you?"

"No, Lord," she said. And Jesus said, "Neither do I. Go and sin no more.""  ~John 8.10-11

"For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved." ~John 3.17


"So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus." ~Romans 8.1

Here's an embarrassing tid-bit for your reading pleasure:

 I lost my car-keys the other day and frantically began looking all over the house, in the vehicles, blaming everyone else in the home for moving them, uttering a few choice phrases (better left to the imagination) to find that they were - wait for it - in my left hand!  How embarrassing and humiliating to say the least.  Of course I'm sure that's never happened to anyone else - so it must be a gift ;^)

Looking back on that ordeal prompted me to consider something I've been dealing with and praying about over the last few months: God's forgiveness and tenderness.  It is something spoken of all the time in church and reads all throughout scripture, but most of the time we fail to "see" it.

It seems growing up as a Pastor's son placed my actions, good or bad under the scrutiny of  many well-meaning folks who should have been looking the other way (or so I thought). Watching them - watching me bred the instinct to do the same thing to others who perhaps did not reach my "standards".  

It's amazing though that the biggest target of my watchful, ever judging eye was of all people, me.

Yep, the very standards I had set up for others to follow and expectations they were required to live up to were out of reach for the very one I knew everything about!  No hiding from one's-self, you know! Every failure added to shame and self-loathing, keeping me from being able to achieve intimacy with God and the nurturing growth that comes from interacting on an "open-book" basis with Him.  I mean if "I" can't accept that I mess up, how could He ever accept it?  

The amazing fact is that just the opposite is true.

  God is our "Daddy" (For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!" ~Rom 8.15) and loves us unconditionally.  Yes, He is Holy, Just and Righteous, but He is the perfect one, not us.  How freeing to know that his grace does not stop where our failures begin, but rather that is where it truly does it's work in us, through us and by Him.  Knowing and believing this one thing can free us to be open with him and live in forgiveness and closeness with our Father who has the best in store for us in every aspect and facet of our lives and personalities.  To try to hide sin from God is essentially saying we don't believe He is Who He says He is. 

I need to accept and believe God will complete the work He started in me.  After all it's His work, not mine and because of that it will be successful and complete and perfect in every way despite my lack of perfection.

Time to "know" God's grace.